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peddle’s perspective: THE BOYS ARE BACK!

Graffiti Admin | April 8th, 2010 | Opinion | Comments Off on peddle’s perspective: THE BOYS ARE BACK!

MR. PEDDLE

Did you ever see that episode of Star Trek where they visit an alien planet that is run by well endowed women in golden disco suits? Ok, granted, that happened in almost every episode. My point is this. It’s possible for places to exist where the women are in charge and the men are required only for physical labour and procreation. Now many of the guys reading this may think that sounds pretty good. You get to work out and have sex and the women take care of everything else. That sounds good to you because you are teenagers and you don’t think clearly. When you get older, you’ll realize that..……

Well anyway, some people don’t seem to think that is such a good idea. Additionally, some people seem to think that our beloved NT is becoming such a place (minus the golden disco suits and sex, obviously). That is why I am taking the unusual step of addressing this issue of Peddle’s perspective specifically to the boys in the school.

So, if you don’t have a Y-chromosome you can stop reading now. No, hang on a second, I take it back. Let me say something to the girls first. Do you think you could tone it down a bit? What I mean is, maybe don’t study quite so much. Don’t volunteer to head up all the school committees. Don’t run for all the spots on student council. In other words, stop dominating the boys in every facet of our school, academic and extra-curricular. Thanks!

Now, back to the boys. What the #*@% is your problem? Just exactly how much time are you spending playing video games and watching porn on the internet? You are having your collective butts handed to you by the girls in this school and people are starting to get worried. I’m serious. People are talking. Committees are meeting. If things don’t change soon, you may end up in boys only classes if not an all-boys school.

Not convinced there is a problem? Let me spell it out for you using as few big words as possible. More girls than boys at NT apply to university. More girls than boys make the honour role at NT. Even in a subject like mathematics, traditionally a bastion of male superiority, the guys at NT are lacking. Consider the following statistics from the grade 9 EQAO math test. Over the past five years, both in the TDSB and the province of Ontario, males have out performed females each and every year. Here at NT, however, the males have outperformed the females only once over that same period. Conclusion: even in an area where some would suggest that males have a genetic advantage, the girls of our school outperform the boys.

Moving to extra curricula, things only get worse. The head of music council is female. The heads of charity week are female. The heads of fashion show are female. The head of yearbook is female. The heads of graffiti are female. The student council secretary, social convener and VP’s are all female. The head of GAA is female. The head of BAA is male, but only because females aren’t allowed to run for that position.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. What about James Bok, you say. The student council president. The grand poobah himself. The hopes of an entire gender rest with this one individual. No doubt James is a superstar, the problem is there’s only one of him. If we could clone him and get a couple dozen James Bok’s running around NT, getting involved in stuff, that would even things up a bit. Unfortunately, Mr. Gorenkoff won’t allow Mr. Pidgeon to clone students. So, if we are going to correct this gender imbalance, it looks like it’s up to the rest of you guys to start pulling your weight.

Still not convinced there’s a problem? No worries. Disagree all you like. Just remembers this. If you get shipped off to a pilot program for underachieving boys in the basement of some TDSB Alternative School, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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