Graffiti 2009-10

SAM KELLERMAN

The birds and the bees. How did a small mammal and a small insect become such wide spread symbols of sex? Many credit the phrase to Cole Porter, for using the lyrics “And that’s why birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let’s do it, let’s fall in love” in his hit song Let’s Do It in 1928.

However, when your parents had the talk with you about the birds and the bees, they most likely didn’t give you the background history on the phrase, so here you go. This part of the birds and the bees is something new for you to teach them.

The “talk” has gained notoriety in families, and most teenagers expect to get the “talk” from their parents at some point in their life, no matter how many times they say, “I’ve learned everything in health already.” What about the kids who don’t get the “talk” from their parents? Is this harmful? Well, it depends on how you look at it.

Whether it’s that they believe kids will want to do it more after hearing about it, or just feeling uncomfortable, some parents may avoid the topic all together. This can be unhealthy, as teens may get the wrong information from their friends.

An online blogger shares a story, “I’m 26 and engaged, and my parents still haven’t given me the talk. Maybe they’ll swing by on my wedding night or something.” The talk may never happen if parents are so uncomfortable with the topic.

Even if a parent is open-minded, a teenager may find it hard to relate to their parents and talk about sex. A teenage boy who told his friends about how he “banged this fit broad on the weekend” may find it hard to find the right words to express the same confession to his parents. A teenage girl who lied and told her conservative parents that she wasn’t sexually active would find it hard to approach her parents and admit to having a pregnancy scare.

The show “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” is about a teenage girl named Amy who is in high school and becomes pregnant. The show focuses on the relationships that she has with her family and friends. Although most people would expect the parents in the show to be totally clueless about Amy and her friends’ day-to-day lives, Amy and her friends tell their parents everything. When a problem arises, the first suggestion made to solve it usually involves informing the parents. Whether this is intentional or not is up for discussion, but the evidence leads to it being intentional. Trying to portray the average American teenager can’t be done accurately unless the teenager has parents who are somewhat clueless about their child’s life. The show execs must have been thinking.

According to our own sex survey, North Toronto boys are not so comfortable when it comes to talking to their parents about sex. In every grade, the majority of boys do not feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex, with about 70% feeling a little to completely uncomfortable. On the other hand, girls became less comfortable talking to their parents about sex as high school progressed. 26% of grade nine girls who answered the survey felt completely uncomfortable talking to their parents about sex, and 33% of grade twelve girls who answered feel completely uncomfortable discussing sex with their parents.

It’s a changing world, and adults find it harder to relate and talk to their kids about these things. With the Internet and other media, there are endless places where teenagers are exposed to sex information. Therefore, when it’s time for the “talk,” teenagers may shrug off their parents and say they know everything. In a recent article in the Toronto star, a survey found that 28% of teens were getting sex information from their parents and 53% of teenagers were getting information from their friends. Our own survey shows these results also, as 72% of the males and 78% of the females are getting sex information from their friends or in school during health class.

The “sex talk” with the ‘rents can be viewed as a comical thing that doesn’t teach you anything. A quick search on Google leads to many “sex talk” horror stories online, filled with comedy and amusement. However, many studies suggest that it is very important for teens to be open with their parents and to be able to talk about sex and other issues. You don’t want to keep the trend of awkwardness around the topic going in your family. And you really don’t want to be the blogger “nobirdsandnobees” right before your own wedding….