Fear the Beard!

By: Zachary Bader-Shamai

Ok, so for those of you who know the reference of the title, this article is not about Brian Wilson and his filthy (but in a good way) playoff beard. This article will express my feelings about facial hair and in particular what needs to improve from a Movember standpoint at NT. So what exactly is Movember? I’m sure a lot of people are still asking themselves this, if they’re not entirely curious as to what Movember is. It is the month of November, but Mustachified! Although I am sure you all saw the beautiful mustaches sported by some of our male staff members, I want to express the details that got left out about Movember.

The goal of Movember is to raise awareness and funds to help cure testicular cancer. In Canada alone, testicular cancer will affect 1 in 6 men. It is the most common cancer to affect Canadian men and will be the cause of 4,400 deaths this year alone. This lack of awareness amongst the student body I put on myself. Although Movember has existed since 2003, this was the first year I had heard of it, and I immediately wanted to run a few events, but out of a lack of time, nothing came to fruition. Some lovely gentlemen still took part in Movember in the form of mustache growers or for those who cannot grow mustaches (cough* yours truly *cough) did a no-shave-November.

So I just want to say thank you to all of the male students who grew mustaches or beards to support Movember. To finish this point I want to send a quick message to whom ever is the BAA prez next year – November comes quick, and if you are not prepared, it will pass you by in a flash, so plan for next year and make it a Movember to remember.

Now on to a different issue- Pogonophobia, which is otherwise known as a fear of beards. This part of the article is for the Norsewomen out there reading this article with a grimace on their faces due to facial hair. What exactly is so bad about facial hair? Let’s look at this question philosophically. Sigmund Freud said that religion and the idea of God for that matter are based on a longing for a father figure. Having established this idea, let’s now look at the majority of Norsewomen at NT. It’s say to be safe that the majority of these Norsewomen have a father who loves them and whom they love in return. Let’s go even further and assume that at some point in these Norsewomen’s young lives, their fathers have sported some sort of facial hair. Now let’s recap: the majority of Norsewomen at NT having loving fathers, who at some point in their lives have sported facial hair, and a father figure (according to Freud) is Godly. Unless my calculations are incorrect, there should be more Norsewomen digging the beards and staches of our Norsemen (unless they are atheist). Clearly this is not an exact science, but in the off chance that my theory makes sense to any Norsewomen reading this, I would then like to finish by saying this: my name is Zachary Bader-Shamai, I am currently growing a beard and I am currently single…Ladies… wink wink nudge nudge