Horoscopes

Tom and Jess

 

Aries:

Lucky Number: 6

Lucky Colour: Golden

You’re distracted and off-track. You need to start working harder and staying in on the weekends. Hit the books pal, you’re not going to wheel Laura Murphy with those grades! Save your jamming for after-party boys and girls.

 

Taurus:

Lucky Number: 1

Lucky Colour: Jasmine

I bet you didn’t know Jessica Alba and Megan Fox are also Taurus’. Isn’t that a great way to start your month? You’re welcome.

Gemini:

Lucky Number: 81

Lucky Colour: Creamsicle Orange

Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. If you see nothing, be open to the possibility that you may be a vampire. Avoid silver bullets.

Cancer:

Lucky Number: 7

Lucky Colour: Periwinkle 

Stressed and sour, that’s your mood.

You need to loosen up and chill out dood.

The world is your oyster, be a teen,

Quit being such a drama queen!

Stop this funk or you’ll have regret,

It’ll be okay don’t you fret!

Leo:

Lucky Number: 99

Lucky Colour: sunshine yellow

As a Leo, you are driven, practical and hardworking. You complete all of your work on time and never take a night off. School is your passion and you enjoy studying. That sucks…

Virgo:

Lucky Number: 3182

Lucky Colour: candy-apple red

This is your month. Trust me 😉

Libra:

Lucky Number: 4

Lucky Colour: Platinum

Remember that night you had last month, the one you really regretted? Apologize now. On second thought, beg for forgiveness. Trust me, they’re still mad.

Scorpio:

Lucky Number: 55

Lucky Colour: Emerald

Hey Shawty, you think you’re feeling nice eh? Well a Gemini is gonna come around this week and change that. That means be aware of all Gemini, they’re vampires…

Sagittarius:

Lucky Number: 3

Lucky Colour: Mauve

Shake it baby girl! Let everyone know what you’re made of, this is your month to shine! People will take notice in your strut and confidence so WORK IT! If you’re patient, a secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.

Capricorn:

Lucky Number: 15

Lucky Colour: snowy white

You and your boo have been fighting lately, for God sake share the love! Learn to forgive and forget and move on…or dump them! You deserve to be out having fun so if that means without them, so be it!

Aquarius:

Lucky Number: 666

Lucky Colour: coal black

A handsome man is not all he seems. Because, in fact, he is not handsome. Book yourself an optometrist appointment as soon as you can, but travel there by bus.

Pisces:

Lucky Number: 711

Lucky Colour: dusty rose

Do NOT step on a crack this month, you WILL break your mothers back! Your mom has been so kind lately, DON’T SCREW THIS UP!!!

 

Love Match of the Month -> Sagittarius and Aries