A Couch to Call Our Own?

Tom Gazzard


           Daniel Reynolds, a young, bright-eyed Grade 12 NT student once asked me, “Tom, don’t you think that the grads need a place to sit? A place to relax, do some homework and maybe muck n’ grind?“ Whether Dan needs a grad couch to compensate for his lack of calf strength, or his disproportionately sized arms, Dan Reynolds is right – the grads need a place in this school to call their own.

            For generations North Toronto’s graduating classes have had a place specifically for them, an oasis of sorts. A place where boys become men and where past Grade 11’s can finally call themselves “grads”. Unfortunately this year, the graduates of 2012 were unjustly stripped of this privilege because of the childish actions of last year’s graduates. “Last year’s couch looked a lot like a gas station bathroom….” said Keenan Crawford, a 2011 graduate of North Toronto, “it was jokes.” Unfortunately, these “jokes” cost us, and future years, our grad couch. This is my plea, to the grads, the future grads, and to Mr. Gorenkoff, for our grad couch back:

            To the Graduates: Let’s fight for our grad couch! Rachele Flippini and a few other dedicated civil activists channeled their inner Martin Luther King Jr. and organized a petition. Unfortunately, “the man” turned it down. So now it’s up to the rest of us. We could organize a protest, have a sit in, maybe even take a niner hostage – whatever it takes to get our couch, let’s do it, no scare!

            To the Grade 9’s, 10’s and 11’s: I am writing this with the hope you won’t have to. Soon enough you will realize the importance of a grad couch. I mean, how else are you supposed to wheel that cute grade 10 girl who looks like Miley Cyrus? Trust me, you’ll want one.

            Finally, to Mr. Gorenkoff: You see, a grad couch is more than just a couch. A grad couch is a symbol. It represents what it means to be a graduate and it serves as a badge of honor to be able to kick back on a La-Z-y-Boy during your spare. A grad couch is a place that niners look forward to sitting on, and grads look for niners sitting on. It is a tradition. North Toronto prides itself on our deep-rooted traditions – so why not keep the most important one?